Another rejection in the mail. A fiction piece that I wrote quite a long time ago was nicely stamped out:

"We regret we are unable to use and hence are returning the enclosed manuscript."

And then, a paragraph later, my favorite part:

"We attach a subscription/rate sheet should you be interested in purchasing copies of XXXX journal."

Yes, I will be sending a fat check to subscribe to your periodical now that you have returned my fiction submission posthaste. Merci.

I just don't understand the rejection/subscription ploy. Seriously, is anyone rejected really going to subscribe to that publication?

Susceptible from the letdown of the rebuff, little Sally opens her register and scribbles a tear-stained check for a quarterly reminder of the type of publication that wouldn't print her work.